After analyzing the Ritual of Azzak obtained from the The Mad Library, the agency concluded that the GBK was seeking to construct an inter-dimensional key known as a Zypher. While such keys are not a threat in and of themselves, a maliciously or improperly designed Zypher could be very dangerous. So when the agency learned that GBK was attempting to acquire a necessary component from the Museum of Unnatural History, Team Alpha was sent in to stop them.
Team Alpha quickly decided that a field trip was in order for the orphans of Destiny Falls, and gave Mesmeralda and Timothy Gilroy the afternoon off. The agents and their excited charges arrived at the museum, but discovered to their horror that it was closed for Sunfall! However, the owners had entrusted their security to Doory, a sentient and somewhat disgruntled entryway. While talking doors are great for creating that old-timey Gerardian ambiance, they are incredibly vulnerable to threats, coercion, bribes, boredom, termites, and manipulative individuals. The party soon made their way inside.
The agents marveled at the collection of extinct creatures on display, which included a well preserved Yoyoi, several life-size scaly mammoths, and a complete Dracolich. The Dracolich, once known as Xerses the Ever-Awesome and Super-Cool, had fallen on hard times. He had been made into an exhibit by one of the Gerards, after which he was mugged by not just one but two Major Players. The agents instructed the children to all laugh at Xerses, and then proceeded onto the next exhibit.
In the Hall of Gerard the agents discovered an old Railgun Missile that emitted an intense magistical signature that might be capable of powering a Zypher. Their attempts to abscond with it were interrupted when two security guards demanded they leave the museum immediately. The agents executed Plan Scorched Earth, and soon orphans were stealing everything of value that was not nailed down.
The rampant larceny failed to distract the “guards”, who threw off their disguises to reveal they were the minions that GBK had sent to infiltrate the museum. After an intense battle that was half parkour, half Orange Box infringement, the minions were desperately fleeing for their lives from the Team Alpha onslaught. The victory celebration was short lived however, as the Railgun Missile had been slammed into the ground several times during the melee and seemed ready to explode at any moment.
With a whoop Freddy launched the orphan and artifact laden DrillMaster exhibit and punched it through the museum wall and out onto the streets of Dark Atlantis with the agents swinging off the back. The drill spun into action and plunged the precious cargo down into the earth, just before the neighborhood was lit by a brilliant white light that temporarily dwarfed the brooding sun.
- PARENTAL PERMISSION SLIPS NOT REQUIRED OR POSSIBLE
- NOTHING SAYS HAPPY HOLIDAYS QUITE LIKE A SWEATSHOP
- ROPE LOVE BURNS
- ONE MONSTER’S ART IS ANOTHER MONSTER’S EXTORTION
- APERTURE SCIENCE IS STILL ALIVE
- EXPLOSIVE FINALE
- D. B. GENGAR UNLOCKED THE HORATIO CAINE AWARD, YEEAAAAAAHHH!