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As the one-armed warlock D. B. Gengar enters the room he is greeted by a slightly apologetic Jenny Hall. “You’re still a bit early, but feel free to have some drinks and mingle, we should be getting started soon. Some wise-ass swapped our door prizes for an Irony Box, so…” She reaches inside a iron-bound chest and pulls out a two-handed claymore. Jen sighed. “Yeah I figured it’d be something like that. Sorry.”
The Irony Box proceeded to spit out a set of tinkling silver bells, which entangled themselves in the antler hat of the stealthy rogue Splash Winterfall, a carton of dog biscuits for Kellsen Howler, and a shaving razer for Frederick Gerard. Jen however drew a line when Sandie Tavros reached in and pulled out a Happy Mother’s Day card. “Oh THAT is IT! Insulting veterans and orphans does not make you ironic you stupid box, it makes you an asshole!”
A giant pink tongue lolled down the side of the Irony Box, which Jen grabbed and twisted in a swift motion as she bent down close to the whimpering box. “You don’t want to find out the things I can do to you, the places I can send you. Imagine a plane of existence full of giant rolling spheres driven insane by their desire to crush stupid little boxes like you. Hell, why imagine it when I can show you right now. Just keep pissing me off, and I’ll set you up on a one way trip.”
The box finally notices Shamus standing there awkwardly, and it sulkily spits up a vest adorned in all nine colors of the shamanic rainbow with the words ‘Possession is Nine-Tenths of the Law!’ inscribed across the back.
Satchmo arrives and there are many hearty claps upon the back. He makes his way through the small crowd, shaking hands and laughing boisterously at even the most boring anecdotes. When he finds his way to the front of the room, he gestures to the crowd with his drink and begins to speak.
“Friends, I want to thank you all for joining us in our little soiree tonight. We are here to celebrate an unprecedented intelligence breakthrough; due to the efforts of Teams Bagpipe and Bravo we have obtained a genuine Oracle. A toast then, to their bravery and sacrifice.” Drinks are raised with solemn regard, and then downed in respectful silence. “Lawrence, you may begin.”